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Christmas Shopping For Computermaniacs
Buying Christmas Gift For ComputerManiac:
When in doubt - buy him a Star Wars book. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 copies of "The Wookie Cookies Cookbook" and he has yet to complain. As a Computermaniac, you can never have too many Star Wars books. No one knows why.
If you cannot afford a Star Wars book, buy him anything with an acronym in it. Computermaniacs love saying those acronyms. "Hey, George! Can I borrow your PS2 to USB adapter?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my PC2100 DDR RAM tester yet?" Again, no one knows
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his game system. A crappy third-party DDR pad, a whacky looking joystick, or any game from the bargain bin. Computermaniacs love gifts for their gamesystems. No one knows why.
Do not buy Computermaniacs cologne. Do not buy Computermaniacs ties. And never buy Computermaniacs designer shoes. I was told that if God had wanted Computermaniacs to wear decent clothes, he wouldn't have more...
Angry Manufacturer to Customer: Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you will undoubtedly destroy it via some typically bonehead consumer manuever. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT TO "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP...
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